Discovering your strengths?

As i was reading the pieces i wrote over the years this blog has been active, i got to see my current self from a different view.

Sometimes i tend to forget that i can be really dark. But inside every bit of sad, frustrated, angry even, emotion i had there was always this hope for the best. The hidden light which led me to move on and work things through. I guess that's a trait i had, ever since i was little. Trying to distance myself from a situation and see what's best to do. I wasn't always making the best decisions, i sure as hell am not now. I am aware of mistakes I'm currently slowly but steadily developing but I'm content with them. A thing i didn't have when i was younger.

I used to bit myself over minor details that could or would have gone differently. However being a constant critic of yourself tends to be quite tiresome, doesn't it? I ended up having real headaches over things that had passed ages ago. Or things that hadn't even happened yet. Insane!

Until one day, i had this profound moment of realization after a heart to heart conversation with my dad, while driving. You don't always get to see what's best or worst with your choices the moment you make them. But, it's how you deal with the aftermath that makes you happy or not. You can build a good background so as the majority of your life's details be pleasant, but sh*t are meant to happen. People, situations, health problems etc. Everything is possible. You just have to have the patience to deal with them.

This, combined with a more positive and outgoing perspective of the world, is what currently stars as my motto. Frankly, it's scary to take everything the world has to offer without second guessing. I am 100% sure I'm going to get hurt, possibly on a big scale. But that's the price of leading a fun and interesting life. The "say yes to life" quote, as cliche as it gets has so far exhausted me. But i got so many experiences and memories, i don't regret a thing.

It's nice being the observer, though. You get to see and form rules on how to avoid unnecessary drama. Unfortunately, or with the new motto in mind you are to, at some point, exercise all the things you got to observe. Either it's in your love-life or business.

Truth be told, it's much easier being bold towards your work. If you are in an age and state where you only get to "care" about yourself, it's much much smoother to take a leap of faith and just go for it in your career. Get the golden metal or try again. It's a simply equation, mainly consisting of time and self-improvement.

Love-life on the other hand, well ain't that a whole different story? The equation is still the same, plus a minor factor which in reality is a major one. The feelings. Not just being in love or whatever. The ones that are to happen, after you take your chances and end up having to try again. What happens then? How are you to naturally collect all these new and overwhelming points you got? How are you to patiently deal with them? How are you able to invest again, in an equation you know can be faulty?

Now, the "old" nanito would be terrified by the high possibility these questions have,in actually happening. So, she would hide or "close up", as a form of self protection. The "current" nanito, is very much terrified as the "old" one was. She just has a bit more power in her. She knows what's on her plate and is ready to deal with any bs*t. She hopes not to have to do so, but if the situation arise she will not be afraid to handle the fearful answers to all those questions.

In conclusion, your motto can and will change but one thing stays the same. Self respect . An internal battle of yourself with your fears. Sometimes those fears are logical and can hold your self from making silly mistakes. It's a battle, because you have to always distinguish which are the benevolent and which the maleficent ones.

Good luck with that!

My only hope is that as i get to overcome my fears, i don't develop new ones. This time with legitimate status and names on them...

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